I recall the year, month & day that I started my meditative journey. I kept hearing within myself that it was necessary now to do this although I was not quite confident in myself to do what was being requested of me. "Meditate" .... heard it over and over again in my mind sometimes loudly but more often it was softly spoken to where frequently almost didn't hear it. It was a early spring day of the year 2008, I had just awakened the first level of my self and had begun to take the spiritual walk more seriously. I had at that point heard of meditation but had not actually convinced myself to try it yet. At this point, I was a mother of 3, a spouse and everything in between to everyone I knew but I yearned for more. I hadn't figured out how to make time to do simple things like self-care so often I neglected myself needs and traded them for everyone else's. Sometimes this responsibility that I took on left me feeling like I was drowning in my life. But little did I know, that the soft voice I was hearing was trying to nudge me into the right direction and begin to save my sanity and my soul.
After reading the book Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior, I finally inner-stood the importance of surrendering to the request to meditate. I made a small vow to myself in so many words to just begin and stay consistent. I truthfully didn't know what I was doing. I imagined how the character in the book looked doing it but could never settle my mind to just sit for hours or not even 3 minutes for that matter. I kept trying but just couldn't find my groove until I found a wonderful site called Fragrant Heart
which helped me tremendously. After a few months of that I "graduate" and found many Youtube channels that offered guided meditations at the time to help me plug in and stay focused.
Now I fully admit that my practice didn't start like i envisioned. It took me 6 months to become consistent and see the results of this discipline. Nonetheless, It happened and I had never felt such clarity for my full and often chaotic life. Each day that I followed through on my practice, I knew what I needed to do for that day. Each day I didn't follow through, it was tremendously & immediately felt or experienced ie mind confusion, un-grounded or unclear. It was always like those moments when you stub your toe fist thing in the morning and the day proceeds to worsen.... yup like that. Anyhow. I enjoyed it and began to master my meditation time and became a calmer mother and more loving mate along the way. This means my relationships improved with my spouse and my children where before I was sometimes finding myself overwhelmed with as a whole so I began to drift away in a sense.
But how does self-care fit into all of this, well self-care comes in a variety of forms. Self-care as meditation is you learning yourself and allowing yourself to make time to center your essence so you can be masterful inside of your days. In knowing this now I would rather have a smoother day moving in the ebb and flow of life instead of moving in resistance of it because I failed to yield to my universal connectivity time. This was me 'caring' for my mental and emotional and sometimes physical well being. This was me loving myself that I would rather move with my life than against it making it all the more challenging.
This whole journey took me years to finally implement but I promise you it was entirely worth it and It also gave a new meaning to "better late than never". So If you have been waiting to start and/or feeling late to the journey of meditation, don't fret because devine timing is always working for us and its NEVER too late....just begin !! Sending all my love in all ways to you....